Archive for March, 2024

Fred part 2: Cars

March 30, 2024

I’ve decided to put off telling the story of Fred Simond’s movie career until I reach that point in his life and pick up with his high school days. Fred’s dad was a highly skilled mechanic and bought a 1957 Pontiac as a project for him to teach Fred auto mechanics. The oil in the car had turned to sludge due to a lack of maintenance by the previous owner. It made a perfect project car because it was cheap and needed a ton of work. But things didn’t work out that way. Fred’s dad didn’t teach Fred how to do anything. He did it all himself and gave Fred little chance for involvement. Repainted a dark red, the Pontiac was a good car for a young driver.

After high school, Fred got a job at McDonnell Aircraft. After working there long enough to save up some money, he bought a brand new yellow 1964 Chevelle Super Sport convertible with a black interior. A very cool ride (to use a term not in use at the time). It was a very sharp car powered by a 283 cubic Chevy engine with the Power Pack option and four on the floor. He may have done this to get at his father. Fred’s dad was a Ford man through and through. One of the reasons he had selected the Pontiac for the project car was that it gave him opportunities to show Fred the shortcomings of General Motors cars. I’m not aware of his father objecting to the Chevelle; his head may have been about ready to explode but might not have wanted Fred to see that he had gotten his father’s goat.

Motorheads considered Fred owning this car a complete waste. Fred was a very responsible driver, even as a teenager when many other boys were hot rodding whatever they could get their hands on. With 220 horses at his command, Fred drove like a middle aged family man, eschewing squealing his tires at red lights and stop lights and not drag racing like was common at the time (see American Graffiti).

Next time: Fred’s life shifts in a major direction.

Frederick S. Simonds (1944-2024)

March 27, 2024

I got terrible news yesterday evening: Fred Simonds, a friend from high school and scouts, died on Monday. Fred was two grades ahead of me in school but had started earlier than other kids his age. So, even though he was tall and looked much older than his classmates, he was actually younger. One particular Boy Scout trip comes to mind.

Explorer Scouts then, we were in Southern Indiana in the fall that weekend to hike the Indiana Lincoln Trail. On Saturday night after hiking 20 miles, we camped out in Indiana State Park trying to get some needed rest. Some other young people—definitely not scouts—had acquired some beer and were partying on the other side of a hedge from our tents. Fred slept alone in a pup tent. I don’t recall what kind of tent I was in or if I shared it with another boy. The partiers made some noise but we could sleep through that. However, they got rowdier as they got drunker. Upon spying our tents, one miscreant bellowed, “What lives in pup tents?” Within seconds he picked up a large trash can and threw it on Fred’s tent, answering himself, “Puppy dogs.”

Fred’s tent was knocked down and he staggered out of the heap. Upon seeing him—he was at least 6’3” tall—the drunks scattered. Fred had a painful knot on his head but no permanent damage.

On the lighter side, Fred loved visiting my home because we had so many kids—nine when he was in high school—and he had no siblings. The youngest girl and the youngest at-that-time boy would each sit on one of Fred’s feet and wrap their arms and legs around the leg attached to the foot each was sitting on. Fred would then walk around the house as if he were some sort of giant ogre. He and the kids enjoyed it.

Fred’s movie career next time.

Hunka Tin

March 14, 2024

A scene in the 1927 Motion Picture Academy Best Picture Winner Wings brought something to mind that James McGrath Morris wrote in or about (I forget which) The Ambulance Drivers, a book about how writers Ernest Hemingway and John Dos Passos became friends while driving ambulances in WWI. What caught my eye several years ago was Morris’s assertion that ambulance drivers had to be from economically advantaged families because poor people wouldn’t know how to drive. That conflicted with what my father had said about growing up poor on a farm at that time.

Dad was too young to go to war but he recalled having some sort of car or truck on the farm even though they didn’t own any land. Used Model T Fords, which were released almost a decade before America’s entrance into WWI, were always on the market at heavily depreciated prices. I remember taking Dad and his older brother to an auction in 1976. The deceased farmer had been a tinkerer who attached Model T drive trains to horse-drawn implements to create useful machines before they were available from major manufacturers. Also at the sale were some complete Model Ts that hadn’t been adapted for other use. My uncle said, “I can remember when that car could be bought for ten dollars.” Dad piped in, “If it ran.”

The point to this is that even poor people had access to automobiles before WWI, although they weren’t Duesenbergs or Packards. Generally, they were Fords because the Model T was the least expensive automobile and it accounted for half of the automobile market at the time.

Clara Bow’s character saw an advertisement for volunteers, with the stipulation that they must be able to drive Fords. To the unfamiliar, that might sound odd. The reasons for it were that Ford built 5,745 ambulances for the Allied Powers and 107 for the Red Cross during WWI. These vehicles used the same Model T drivetrain that was used in passenger cars so many people owned. Other companies also supplied ambulances but Fords were the most common. But why did she need experience driving Fords?

Model T Fords drive like no other automobile. They have no accelerator pedal. Instead they have a throttle level attached to the steering column. Ts employ the handbrake as part of the gear shifting mechanism along with the three pedals on the floor. And they have no clutch pedal. Considerable practice is required to master driving a Model T. The Red Cross probably didn’t have the time for volunteers to learn how to drive the ambulances and couldn’t afford the damage that was sure to result while they were learning.

George Woodruff

March 8, 2024

Even those who have read Gridiron Gypsies: How the Carlisle Indians Shaped Modern Football may wonder why I’m writing about George Woodruff because I’ve already taken Sally Jenkins to task for her deceitful treatment of him. The reason I’m writing about him now is because a person who is writing Woodruff’s biography contacted me about information concerning his hiring by Carlisle in 1905. This request caught me cold because I hadn’t given it much thought. Woodruff, a future hall-of-fame coach, was available and Carlisle management thought they could use him because Pop Warner had returned to Cornell.

George Washington Woodruff had elevated Penn to make it the fourth member of The Big Four alongside Harvard, Yale, and Princeton but undergrads were dissatisfied with recent results. Although he won three national championships while going 124-15-2 over his 10-year career at Penn (1892-1901), the 5-loss 1901 season was unacceptable, causing him to be let go. He led Illinois to a pitiful 8-6 1903 season (only one win was against a college team – Purdue).

Having political connections to President Roosevelt and Gifford Pinchot, he took a government position in Washington, DC. There, he officiated the Bucknell-Georgetown game played on November 12, 1904. This suggests that he was still keeping his hand in the game.

On August 14, 1905 Penn announced that Woodruff was to be on its “advisory coaching board,” whatever that means, along with Carl Williams, George McFadden, and George Brooke. On September 2, 1905, datelined Carlisle, Pa, “The management of the Carlisle Indian School’s football eleven today announced that they had secured the services of George Woodruff…The Indian School authorities have had him for some time, but did not announce having secured him until his arrival today.” How long “for some time” is debatable because less than three weeks earlier, he was associated with Penn.

The details of exactly he came to be employed by Carlisle have yet to be uncovered. Any information regarding that would be most appreciated.

Woodruff went 7-2 at Carlisle in 1905 before leaving for Washington after the victory over West Point. Some credit him with the three wins and two losses in games that were played after he left but he was not involved with those games.

Facebook Insecurity – Part 4

March 4, 2024

Metastasizing

The day after posting the ID.me message, I received one from Meta for Business threatening to remove my account “due to serious case concerns.”  I found that odd since Facebook, the evil spawn of Meta, had canceled me back in October. They (it?) gave me 24 hours to appeal their decision and provided a bright blue button to click to initiate the appeal. Skeptical by now, I doubted the sincerity of the message. A quick scan of the message header solidified my opinion. Why would a Meta (or Facebook) employee send me an “official” message from a Hotmail account?

I haven’t heard anything more in the week that has passed. Perhaps this scam attempt has concluded.