Redskins No More

It’s happened. The Redskins are no more. The NFL version that is, not the teams that play under that name on reservations. Management of the team formerly known as the Redskins announced today that it has caved under tremendous financial pressure to change the team’s name but didn’t announce what the new name would be. Whatever it is, it should not refer to Indians. Washington, DC doesn’t deserve that the way it has treated over the years—unless it is an honest name, that is. Here are few candidate names DC has earned:

Treaty Breakers

Beltway Bandits

Swamp Creatures

Pedophiles

Hair Sniffers

Pencil Necks

Turncoats

Log Rollers

Impeachers

Dementeds

Harrassers

Exposers

Lilylivers

Transgenders

One reason team owner Daniel Snyder hasn’t selected a new name is because Alexandria, Virginia real estate agent Philip Martin McCaulay has already trademarked a large number of those Snyder might consider. Coleman Bentley of Golf Digest pointed out some McCaulay missed:

Filibusters

Earmarks

Washingtons

8th Grade School Field Trips

Gun Lobbyists

Fortunate Sons

Perhaps a reader will think up a better choice. Snyder will need one that appeals to more new fans than the number of long-time ones he loses over his and the NFL’s recent capitulations.

 

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